Body Glitter, Boys, and the Moscovitz Guy
by ObsessivePuffin
Summary: The diary of the girl with her obsession with boys and body glitter, and oh, totally that Moscovitz guy, the princess named.. LANA WEINBERGER!
1. Default Chapter

A/N: This story is the diary of Lana Weinberger, her secret crush on Michael Moscovitz, her dream to be prom queen at age 14, and her love for body glitter.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Seriously.  
  
Wednesday, October 15th  
  
My God.  
  
You know, that freak, the Thermopolis(Her name totally fits- her hair LOOKS like a mop) girl? Mia? Her absolutely awful face is PLASTERED all OVER the New York Times! Why, you may ask?  
  
She's a princess..  
  
A PRINCESS. A princess! Ha! Like that absolutely hideous FREAK could, besides fitting into a BRA, be a princess.  
  
I remember when I was, like, 7, I wanted to be a princess. I dressed up and everything and ordered Mother and Daddy to too. I made all my friends be my 'slaves' and clean up after messes I made. It was actually kinda fun.  
  
So, you'd wonder why someone like me would end up being boring old Lana Weinberger, and her, HER, would end up as princess.  
  
She could probably have her pick of any guys in school..  
  
Like Josh. NO. Not Josh. Josh is mine. Or maybe the hot Moscovitz kid, you know, the guy with the pug-faced sister. No one knows I think he's hot.  
  
But, anyway. She doesn't even LOOK like a princess. She's got absolutely HEINOUS dishwater blonde hair, as opposed to shining platinum, like yours truly. It kind of...sticks out. Like a triangle. Like that sign. She's gigantic, not in weight wise. The poor girl seems just to have skin and bones. Seriously. No curves at all. But she's 5"9. And completely flat chested. And she doesn't even TRY to dress to hide it. She just wears her uniform with the stupid orange cat hair all over it(One word, freak: Tape Roll. That's two words. But anyway.)  
  
And she's a princess.  
  
A princess. A PRINCESS...  
  
Hanging out with a princess could make me even more popular than I am already. It could make me prom queen at age 14! My everlasting dream. With the LBD and body glitter, of course. But what a BRILLIANT idea. Hang out with the freak princess. Get my picture in the paper! And as everybody in this glorious city of New York City will see me on the Front Page of the New York Times. And...well, I'm actually not sure what else. More later about that!  
  
But still...a princess. Mia Thermopolis....PRINCESS! I might just simply DIE from laughter.  
  
A/N: NOW REVIEW! 


	2. Chapter 2

Ahh, yes, I'm BACK! For more. Sorry, guys. The plot bunny was found. Maybe, anyway. But this was too good a story to be wasted!

**Disclaimer**:I own nothing. I do, however, wish I owned Cal Langdon from Every Boy's Got One.

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Wednesday, October 15th(I know, two entries in one day!)

You know, I was just thinking. It's kinda creepy, but Mia and I are a lot alike.

We both keep journals. We both like Josh. Though of course, I'm better, since I've got Josh. God, Josh is so hot. And he smells so great. You know, I actually got him that cologne he always wears? Okay, well, I got two bottles. You know? So I can smell him. You know, whenever I want. It's not like a crime or anything. In case you forgot. Or anyone forgot. I AM his girlfriend. But whatever.

Sadly, though, I don't think Josh is so hot anymore. Sure he smells hot. God, he is hot. But I was just reading this book, dammit, I forgot the title. Anyway, this guy in the book's got dark hair and eyes and all that. So I was thinking- how hot would it be to have a boyfriend with the hair and eyes the color of chocolate? Yummy! And the pug-girl's brother, sadly, fits that description. He's so goddamn bookish, though. Sadly.

Anyway. We both like Josh, we both write in journals, we both have blonde hair. Well, sort of. Mine's that perfect platinum-honey-strawberry shade, and well, hers looks sort of…well…dingy. You know? Mousy. Dishwater blonde. I think that's the term. But mine's straight and hers is kind of gross. Well, okay, it's like, really gross. Triangle-shaped like. You know? Anyway.

And we have to go to the same school and wear the same outfits every day! (Too bad they don't make any shirts small enough to fit her chest. Poor baby!) God, I should have been the princess. Godammit, my life is boring. And simple, and plain.

Why on earth is MY daddy the one with the boring businessman job? I'm sure Daddy could have gotten his way and been a prince. If he wanted it. But all he does is sit on his ass all day and make phone calls or play golf while wearing seriously mismatching clothes. But whatever.

Still. I'd definitely capture William's heart. And then it's all royal bliss.

But would I have to go to church? I heard that one of Will's ancestors like, started church so he could divorce this chick. I don't know. Whatever. But anyway, I'm not going for that. I like to sleep on Sundays.

Since Saturday nights I'm usually partying! Ha-ha-ha. Still, though, scotch kinda tastes really gross. Like, disgusting.

Okay, so on to my plan. You know, hanging out with the freak. I could invite her to a few parties, maybe? She could have her taste of scotch. HAHAHA, imagine her face on the cover of the times throwing up!

And the dutiful friend holding her hair back in the toilet, with a perfect smile on her face!

Ahh. Perfect!

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There you go! Another chapter. REVIEW, REVIEW! And, if you like Harry Potter, check out my BRAND-SHPANKIN' NEW fic, Wicked! Loosely based on the musical of the same name. Cheerio! 


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